Unlocking Harmony: A Hands-on Approach for a Happier, Healthier Horse #84

 TRANSCRIPT:

Hi. Today I'd love to talk to you about how you could use your hands to relieve your horse's tension. That's tension in body and mind, and also how you could use your hands to help remind your horse how their movement can be freer, more comfortable, and that there's no need to have that tension. And finally, I'd like to tell you how you can use the tacking up process, like how you saddle your horse, to actually be a way to help improve your horse's movement, their well being, and have a deeper connection with you.

And in case we're meeting for the first time, my name is Mary de Bono, and this is the easier movement, Happier Horses podcast. So, yes, today in this episode, we're going to talk about steps three, four, and five in the six step framework we have for creating harmony between horse and human. So again, we're going to start with how you can relieve your horse's tension. So, in my move with your horse program, I teach you exactly how to do this, but I'll give you an overview so you can get started.

One of the things we do is we do what I call a body scan. You've heard me talk about body scans for you. Well, you could also do one for your horse so that you use your hands in such a way that you're moving them very slowly and softly over your horse and you're noticing things. You're really directing your attention at what you feel. That also, by the way, builds your sensory acuity.

So that means you start to develop greater feel. And we know how important that is as a horse person. It helps you be more tuned into your horse. It also helps stimulate those CLTM receptors that I talked about in the previous episode and how that they help your horse be more resilient to stress. They help your horse tune into you more and to want to interact with you.

So the body scan can be incredibly powerful because you're actually helping your horse improve their own body awareness. You're bringing attention in a pleasant way so that the nervous system is like, oh, that's different. It's like when you're lying on the floor and you're doing a body scan, the floor gives you feedback, right? You can tell, oh, I'm a little higher on this side, or that doesn't feel the same on this side.

That's your feedback. Well, you can use your hands as a kinesthetic mirror for your horse. So doing simple scans, I mean, it sounds simple, but it's the quality of your attention will make a big difference for your horse. And that can also, again, because you're stimulating those CLTM receptors, your horse can let go of both physical and emotional tension. Now, we can add to that that we can do even more to help a horse release tension.

So you can do something that I call muscle lifts, where you're using your hands to support a muscle. And this can be done virtually anywhere on the body. You know, we do it even on the face. We use our fingertips very gently or the muscles over the jaw. It's a little bit bigger. You can use fingertips or your whole hand, certainly the shoulders. The back is a great place, the hindquarters.

And I even show you how to do it around the joints and around the more bony parts of your horse, like the, you know, the greater trochanters, which is the outside of the hip joint, or what we call the ischial tuberosities, or the horse's seat bones. So the very back of the pelvis, I mean, anywhere, anywhere you can do this. You can use your hands to gently support your horse's muscles.

And what happens when you do that is the nervous system. The horse's nervous system gets a signal that, ah, someone else is doing the work for me. I don't have to keep that muscle so tight. And then as you very gradually let your hands go, the muscle is often softer. And again, you're bringing that level of awareness to it so that instead of being habitually contracted, your horse has more choice.

Doesn't mean it happens on an intellectual level, but on a nervous system level, so super, super important. And, you know, it's just fascinating to me how this work can actually hope your horse feel different than they normally feel, because we were really getting to the root cause of your horse's issues. So say, for example, your horse has a habit of having back tension, which many, many horses do, same way many humans do.

So by supporting the horse in this way and just helping them feel like, oh, you don't have to hold your back so tight that can let go suddenly. Then your horse experiences life differently. They experience being ridden differently, being tacked up differently, and we're going to, by the way, go into the whole tacking up thing a little bit later today. But, you know, they, they start to feel different in body and mind.

And that, my friend, really opens the door for transformation. It's like once the nervous system feels like it doesn't have to be stuck in its old habits, suddenly all kinds of new possibilities are available. So, you know, I call my framework possibilities in motion because we're using movement, gentle movement, and supportive contact to help your horse find these new possibilities the same way you find them when you do the Feldenkrais work that I teach.

So, again, we want to help the horse experience feeling different than they normally do. And you could apply this to all kinds of contexts. And it's actually, it's simple in many ways, like the way we use our hands, and it really takes attention. And the more you do it, the better you get at it, the more skilled you are, because we also think about, like, okay, well, in what direction do I support the muscles?

Because that can make a difference. So I teach you how to find the direction of ease. And when you go in the direction of ease, what already feels easy, like, oh, I can kind of move the muscle in this direction. Then you know that you're on the right track. Right. And so your horse can feel that difference. And then you also follow your horse's responses. You pay attention.

Does your horse take a deep breath? Do you get the impression your horse wants you to linger there more? Right. Does the eyes soften? Something happened with the ears or the facial expressions or the tail. You know, you start to really become tuned into your horse and read their body language. They're telling you things. So that's how you find how you can really support your horse in the most effective way.

And again, it sounds simple. There is a skill to it that's developed over time to be the most effective. But even a beginner, even someone brand new, just watching a video of mine, can start to put this into practice. So that is, this is one of the fundamental things we do. It's step number three in our six step, you know, how to create horse human harmony. And it's that idea that once we help the horse feel, experience, like, oh, I can feel different.

I don't have to be so taught. And again, it doesn't mean it happens intellectually, but it happens on the level of the nervous system. Suddenly, now the nervous system can choose different ways to be, to hold the muscles, to organize, to coordinate their parts, and all kinds of wonderful new possibilities open up. So, really important step. Really, really important. And there's many ways we do it. It's not even just on the level of, I just want to be clear.

I'm talking here about supporting soft tissue, but we also provide skeletal support. That's a fabulous way of relieving your horse's tension because, you know, when you're putting, like, a very gentle support or movement, like, wave of movement through the skeleton the nervous system doesn't have a defense against that. It's not going to say, oh, I can't do that. And it's like the muscles get this passive ride and they can soften on their own.

So it's a really wonderful way to, again, engage with the nervous system, because, after all, it's the nervous system that's controlling the amount of muscular tension your horse has. The nervous system is regulating your horse's emotional state. So when we engage with the nervous system in this way, and we use our hands in many different ways to provide this sense of support and relief to the horse, then things can open up, things can change.

And I often say that you make a connection by meeting a need. And virtually every horse, even every human, almost would love a sense of relief in their body and mind. They would love that, right? So providing that sense of relief is a great way to really help your horse engage with you and again, get the attention of the nervous system in a very pleasant way and for change to feel easy, effortless to your horse and something that they want, you know, that they embrace, if you will.

So that's step number three, relieving tension in your horse. And again, we use the hands on de bono moves that I teach to do that. So the next step, step number four, is reminding your horse of new possibilities of movement. Now, there's a lot of, there's actually overlap in these steps. It's not that you just do 123456, and they don't intersect or overlap in any way. There's often a lot of overlap.

But the next step is, again, to remind your horse of these new possibilities of movement. And we do that again with our hands. We move, like, literally take the horse's body, move it in different ways. So now, it's not that you're picking up your horse or doing anything like that, but, for example, most people don't realize how much movement is available in the horse's rib cage. The incredible importance of the horse's sternum, ribs, costal, cartilage, all those things affect virtually every part of the horse.

And there are ways that you could very, very gently use your hands to remind your horse that these movement possibilities exist and that they can feel easy and pleasurable. We always want to associate ease and pleasure with movement, okay? Not danger and pain and effort. We want it to feel easy because that's how your horse's nervous system will want to recreate that. It'll want more of that because it feels good.

So again, we use our hands in very specific ways. I teach this in the program of how to support the entire rib cage in different ways and finding the direction of ease and then helping your horse discover, oh, I don't have to stay stuck this way. I can actually move this way. So just like with humans. So horses have these habits of how they organize themselves, how they move themselves and coordinate their movement.

And so, for example, a lot of us as humans, we have one side of our rib cage that the ribs may be more squished than the other, and that throws our, it changes our spine. It creates wear and tear damage. It affects virtually every part of us. It makes us unbalanced in the saddle, causes one leg to hike up, perhaps lots of things. Well, horses often have discrepancies in how their barrel or their rib cage is organized as well.

And some horses, you may notice, like, oh, this horse is easier to turn one direction than the other. And there could be many, many reasons for that, but one of them is that they may have, again, just like you, a habit of how they organize that ribcage, and it just feels familiar to them. That's their go to, right? It just happens automatically, just like your habits do. But when we can use our hands in this very particular way where we're supporting and guiding, not going in and contradicting, but supporting and then suggesting these new ways, and we're basically just reminding the horse of what's possible, suddenly, then it's like, oh, that actually feels better than what I was doing.

So this is a really powerful step. I mean, they're all, they're all important. They're all essential. And this is a really powerful thing to do because you're helping the horse. Like, for example, maybe your horse has tension in the neck. A lot of times that's not from the neck. I mean, that's where it may manifest. The muscles may be tight, the horse may be getting some damage in the neck, but oftentimes it comes from the more central parts of the body are not responding.

In other words, they're stuck in some habitual pattern of maybe rib cage shifted this way a little bit more than the other way, or just these other restrictions. Maybe the, the muscles between the ribs are very restricted, you know, tense. So we can help the horse remember that doesn't have to be that way. And then when the middle of the body is freer to move, the neck frees up automatically because the nervous system isn't protecting it.

Right. It doesn't feel as vulnerable. And the same is true with the limbs, like the shoulders get freer the hips get freerhead, the back gets freer. And, you know, I want to make a mention, because I always talk about the sternum. The sternum is hugely important in your horse's movement. You know, that's the breastbone. That's just like, it's different than yours. It's shaped differently. But just like your breastbone or your sternum is very, very important, and it's capable of movement.

Most people don't think about that. They don't think of their rib cage having movement, and they don't think of their horse's ribcage having movement potential. Now, of course, it's subtle, right? It's not this huge movement, but it's important to remind the horse that movement there is possible, and we do it in a very gentle, safe way. So, again, I teach this in my course, and it can be a game changer for horses, just to give you a little brief idea about this.

For example, most horses could. Could improve how they use their back, right? Improve how they carry you. Whether you ride, dressage, or a trail rider, whatever you do, it's important for your horse's well being or even if your horse is not ridden, it's important for your horse's well being and overall health to have a healthy back just like it is for you. And especially if the horse is ridden, of course, because they have to be able to carry you in a safe way, a healthy way for them, one that minimizes damage to them and feels better to them.

And most people don't realize that their horses have limited movement in their sternum and ribs, which then makes it difficult for the horse to round the back. So in my move with your horse program, we go into that. We help the horse remind the horse that that movement potential is there. It actually feels really good. And I'll tell you this. Most horses love, love, love the sternum and rib work.

Now, some horses don't like it in the beginning because they have so much anticipation of pain there, and they're very guarded there. But I show you how you can help your horse get over that and actually get to the other side. But they really like it. We also use something that I call a rib rope that I came up with years ago that helps. Helps your horse, and there's also.

You could use it for yourself as well, a smaller one, but helps your horse, again, restore that movement to the rib cage. So pretty cool stuff. So that's step number. What was that? Step number four, I think. Okay. And on to step number five. Step number five is all about tacking up what I like to call tension free tacking up. You know how so many horses are girthy, cinchy, whatever you want to call it.

And some of them don't show it, very obviously. Like, they may do something that people call blowing up. People think they're filling their bellies with air. Actually, what they're doing is they're tensing their abdominal muscles. Now, a little fun fact about some of the abdominal muscles is one in particular, the rectus abdominis. It attaches from the base of the horse's sternum to the horse's pubic bone. So it's very directly involved in how the horse uses their back, among other things.

And when the horse starts out with some degree of tension in that whole abdominal area. Right? And even, like, as you like, slowly do the girth up and walk the horse and do up a little another hole and, you know, do all that, and you think, okay, now I'm fine to get on. But oftentimes, some residue of that tension is still there. So you're not really starting at a clean slate with your horse.

And that that limits your horse's ability to move in a healthy way. It also starts with a feeling of resistance. So emotionally, it's like, hmm, you know, the horse is already resisting when they do that. So with this, this step, which is step number five, it's so important I show you how you can use the tacking up process to restore movement to those areas, to, again, support movement in the sternum and the ribs and soften the back.

And, you know, in body and mind, help your horse be on board with the idea of the saddle. So tacking up becomes this opportunity to improve your horse's movement, to make it healthier for your horse to carry you. And it's a very bonding experience. And all the work that I teach, by the way, it's a win win because, like, as you're doing the movements, like, for example, I'll give you a little hint about something we do call sternal circles.

And when you're doing them, you're actually doing pelvic circles yourself. So you're. And we do a whole Feldenkrais lesson beforehand. So you know how to move your pelvis in this, you know, really healthy way. And so, so you're getting that body awareness and that freer movement as you're helping your horse. So all the work we do here is a win win for you and your horse. It's designed very specifically to help both of you at the same time.

And I always think, body and mind, it's like, it's wonderful to feel better throughout yourself. Your whole sense of well being, both physically and emotionally, can improve. And so the work with the horse is, again, a very connecting and bonding experience, as well as it's helping improve your movement, your vitality, your well being, all that good stuff. So again, we go into detail in this, in the program, but the idea is you learn how to tack up your horse in a way that feels good to them and helps them move in a better way and starts you on this.

I mean, what a different way to start your ride, right? Like, to have this bonding experience and both of you moving better. So now, like, your pelvis is freer, you're going to be able to move with your horse better. And, you know, it's just a win win all around, right? So anyway, that's step number five. So we still have one more step to go, but let's just do a quick review of the steps we did today.

So step number three was using your hands to relieve your horse's tension and body and mind. And there's several different ways we do that. We talked a little bit about the body scan and muscle lifts. Also, we work with a skeleton to help with that, you know, and we do it in a way that is gentle, it's safe, and it allows the improvement to happen in an effortless way, a way that just feels so good to the horse.

And we have to remember it's the horse's nervous system discovering these new possibilities. It's never anything imposed on the horse. It's an interactive approach. You're listening to the horse. You're just communicating on this really beautiful, deep level with the nervous system. Your nervous system is connected to your horse's nervous system. So that was step number three. Step number four was again, using your hands to remind your horse how movement can feel free and easy.

Another little hint about this is you can even teach your horse from the ground using your hands, how they can respond to your leg from the saddle. So in other words, you know, it's. You can, you can, with your hands, learn to help your horse feel. Oh, like your rib cage can soften here when I put my hands here. And it can, like, simulate what your leg would do from the saddle.

And it's such a nicer way to teach a horse than to be like, tapping them with the whip or some other thing. So it's just, again, a way to really refine your communication with your horse, to support your horse. To respect your horse, to really look at your horse as a partner, and that you want a sense of harmony between you and your horse. So that's the step of remind.

You're reminding your horse of these wonderful new possibilities that exist. And then the next step, step number five, is tension free tacking up. And again, you could use the experience of tacking up as a springboard to either even greater freedom and wonderful movement for you and your horse. And that bonding experience. I want to say, too, about the tacking up. In the beginning, you do have to spend a little time with this.

Like, you do a session where, you know, you're using your hands with your horse. You're doing some special things. I teach you with the girth. Maybe you're putting the saddle pad on. And then another day, you add this, etcetera. So in the very beginning, I find that this will vary by horse. So please don't take this to the bank. Some horses, in one session, they're over their girthiness.

Many horses take three sessions. Some take more than that, but again, but then you just don't go back to business as usual, right? Like, once you do that and you lay the foundation and your horse realizes it's like you're building, like, positive value from the girth, from the process. And again, the way I show you how to do this feels good to the horse, so there's no reason for them not to like it.

And again, you're building that positive value. Then when you. Another time, you just go to tack up your horse. You don't just throw the saddle on and tighten up the girth without any mindfulness. You do it slowly and gently, and you start bringing in the sternum and the ribs a little bit and shifting their way, doing some sternal circles, but doesn't have to take a lot of time.

Might be a minute or two. It's not like it's going to add this big burden of time to your tacking up process, but it makes, it pays huge dividends. Okay. Huge dividends. So it can totally transform horses and riders, for that matter. And again, it's a win win because you're moving your own self in this, you know, way that's reminding your nervous system of how you can move and how you maybe used to move as a very young person.

So, yeah, again, win win. So, excuse me. So that's it for those steps. So we went over, let's say, three, four, and five. So we have one more step to go, which is step number six. So you'll have to tune in the next episode for that one. But if you didn't listen to the other episodes I did about these steps, you might want to go back and listen to them.

And also in I think it was the previous episode, I mentioned a free gift I have for you. So a couple of ways you can get that if you go to marydebono.com breathinghorse. Just all one word all or case marydebono.com Breathinghorse again, one word, lowercase. You can get this free audio file that actually takes you through an exercise of breathing with your horse in this very special way.

You're doing hands on stuff, etcetera. And by the way, these links will be in the description of wherever you're listening or watching this, so don't worry about writing them down. Then. Another way that you can get some free stuff is if you go to marydebono.com joinhorse. Again, one word, lowercase, and that'll put you on my no obligation waitlist for the move with your horse program, which is starting up very soon.

So I don't want you to miss anything. So get on that wait list, no obligation, and I'll be in touch with you. So again, that link will also be in the description. So thank you. Thank you so much for joining me on this little journey. We have one more episode to go for, the six steps, and I can't wait to share that with you as well. Thank you so much.

Have a beautiful day and I'll talk to you soon. Bye for now.