How to Create Horse-Human Harmony in Six Steps #81

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In this episode, we delve into the core issues that equestrians face, both for themselves and their horses. Whether it's stiff hips, an aching back, or a horse that's resistant or stiff, these concerns all boil down to one essential desire: achieving greater harmony with your horse.

Join Mary Debono as she introduces the six essential steps to create horse-human harmony. Mary explains how the Feldenkrais Method and Debono Moves can improve your movement and awareness, ultimately enhancing your connection with your horse.

In this episode, you will learn why each of these steps is essential:
1. Improving your movement and self-awareness.
2. Using intention, breath, and loving energy to connect deeply with your horse.
3. Gentle hands-on work to relieve your horse's tension.
4. Reminding and retraining your horse's nervous system so that movement can be fluid and free.
5. Transforming tacking up into an enriching and bonding experience.
6. Using simple strategies to integrate your improvements, so you can enjoy moving with your horse, both on the ground and in the saddle.

Subscribe to "Easier Movement, Happier Horses" and ensure you don't miss the upcoming deep dives into each of these transformative steps.

Want to learn more? Join the Move with Your Horse waitlist! https://www.marydebono.com/joinhorse 🐴

Remember, you and your horse deserve to feel great. Together!

Resources:

Free rider videos masterclass: https://www.marydebono.com/rider

Email [email protected]

All information is for general educational purposes ONLY and doesn't constitute medical or veterinary advice. 

TRANSCRIPT:

When I ask equestrians what their number one issue is, I get different answers. I get things like, oh, I have stiff hips. I want my hips to be more flexible, or my back often aches or my knees hurt, or, you know, I'm crooked. I'm not even in the saddle. Or maybe they'll tell me something about their horse, that their horse is stiff to one side, or I resistant, or they're having some issue that's like a performance or behavioral type issue.

But when you get to the bottom of it, like, when you really think about what the person really wants, it really comes down to they want to have greater harmony with their horse, whether that's interacting with their horse on the ground, riding their horse. You know, they want that sense of ease, that sense of joy and harmony. So I don't know what your number one issue is, but I imagine if you keep asking yourself what you really want, you know, if you keep going through the layers, like, well, what would that get you?

And what would that get you? So, for example, a common one people tell me is that their hips are tight and so that prevents them from riding effectively or being comfortable in the saddle or many other things. And yes, I can totally help them with that, something I do quite a lot. But when you ask, well, what would having more flexible hips give you? Right? Then they'll say things like, well, then I'll be able to ride my horse more easily or more effectively, or, you know, something like that, I'll feel more secure in the saddle.

And then what would that give you? So again, if you keep going down another layer, what they eventually want, they may not use these words, but they want to feel that incredible connection with their horse, that joy of moving with their horse. Again, this could even be on the ground. Some people I work with don't ride their horses anymore, and they have a lot of fun with their horses on the ground.

So, you know, that's what they're looking for. They're looking for that sense of horse humanity, harmony. So today in this episode, what I'd like to talk to you about is the six steps to create horse human harmony. And I'm going to give you an overview of the steps today and then each subsequent episode for the next few weeks, we'll take a deeper dive into each of the steps.

So make sure you subscribe to easier movement, happier horses, and you'll learn so much more about this. Okay. And in case we are meeting for the first time, my name is Mary de Bono, and this is the easier movement, happier horses. Podcast, and I'm so glad you're here. So, yeah, the six steps. But before we get into them, I just have to share with you something that somebody posted about me recently, and her name is Debbie, and she said she loves how I take the horse and human and help combine them like that.

I help the person combine the horse and themselves in such a way that both of them feel better, that they know their bodies more, they have greater body awareness, better coordination, and again, that sense of harmony. So I appreciate that comment. And she said, also, I'm looking at my notes here and how you, both the horse and the human feel good in their bodies. So, and that is, that is what this is all about, right?

To feel better in body and mind for you and your horse. So again, that sense of horse, human harmony. So let's get, let's cut to the chase, as they say, the six steps, what are they? Well, tell you what the first one is. This is non negotiable. Well, all these steps are essential. The first one is to improve your own movement and self awareness through the Feldenkrais method.

The Feldenkrais method is a form of what they call somatic education. It's kind of retraining your brain to move in a way that's easier, feels better to you, is more efficient, it's healthier, there's less wear and tear. You feel, have more vitality, more energy, you feel younger. So it's a really good thing. It totally transformed my life, by the way, which is why I, you know, I want to share it so much with everybody because it's so amazing.

So that is really important. So I'm a Feldenkrais teacher. I have been one for over 30 years. This is really, really crucial, in my opinion, it is a fantastic way to develop your own sensitivity so that you can better feel your horse and be able to be in harmony with your horse. Because so many of us have shut down things like we don't have as much body awareness as we could.

We aren't maybe as coordinated. So that means that some parts of us are working harder than they need to be, which is what contributes to wear and tear injuries, damage over time, fatigue, achiness, outright pain, you know, all those kinds of things. So the more we can coordinate our movement in a healthier way, the better we're going to feel and the more healthy our movement will be and more pleasurable.

So this is really important. And you might say, well, I feel fine, I feel great. I only care about my horse. It's still essential. And I'll tell you why. Because the Feldenkrais method is so wonderful at helping you tune into yourself on a deeper level, both body and mind. Okay? So by doing that, that then allows you to feel your horse more, to sense your horse more. But you have to feel it yourself first.

And also, a big part of the work in the Feldenkrais method is learning how to embody a sense of ease in your life with movement and with other things. And so when you have that, then you can facilitate it with your horse. But if you don't have that within yourself first, you can't pass it along to your horse. So it's really, really important. And I want to say something right up front.

It doesn't matter how old you are. It does not matter how many aches and pains you you're starting with. None of that matters, because it's all relative. Once you realize, oh, despite my age, despite maybe the injuries you've had or something, I can still improve. So it's that sense of what we call biological optimism, that sense of, oh, I could have this feel easier, that you can then facilitate that with your horse.

Okay? So it's not about being, quote unquote perfect or being this incredible athlete and all of that. It's being able to tune into you, to your unique history, your unique body, your unique thoughts, and then being able to facilitate that, like, to improve so that you are your movement and your life is easier, then you can help your horse. Okay? But you have to feel it in yourself first.

Okay? So that's the first step that's really, really important, because, again, we want to associate movement with a sense of ease and pleasure, both for us and for our horses. So feel it in yourself first. Best way is the Feldenkrais method. Okay? And that. And I do. That's what I teach. So it's a yemenite, incredibly important part of the work that I do with horses and humans. Okay.

Okay. So that's step number one. Step number two is using your intention, your breath, and loving energy to connect with your horse. And again, we're going to take a deeper dive into all these in subsequent episodes. But just to give you a real quickie on it, it's like building rapport. It's being able to, again, listen to feel your horse, to sense your horse, to really have that sense that, ah, we can move as one.

We can do things as one. It's like. It's kind of a. I'm going to say a body, mind, and spirit connection. It's a very deep connection, and it's built on a platform of gratitude, which I often call loving energy. Right. If you're grateful for something, right. You're sending out those loving vibes, if you will. It changes your own physiology when you're grateful. And again, we can take a deeper dive into this later, but it also is felt by your horse.

Horses are very sensitive to the energy of appreciation. So that is the next step. And there's a lot of overlap with these steps, by the way. But if you want to just think of them in that order, first you have to really get in touch with yourself, and then you can connect with your horse. Okay. The third step is using the method that I teach, which I call de bono moves, which is strongly inspired by Feldenkrais, by the way.

But it's very gentle. Hands on work with your horse to relieve your horse's tension. Just like us, horses carry an unbelievable amount of unnecessary tension. Both, you know, neuromuscular tension as well as oftentimes they're anxious, they're tense. Right. And there are ways that are very effective, very gentle, that can help relieve that. And that is really important because we want the horse to be able to feel, to experience that they can feel differently, that they don't have to be stuck in habitual patterns of tension, which is what the Feldenkrais method does for us.

It helps us break out of that as well. So with our hands, we can provide that experience for a horse. We can help relieve the horse's tension. And again, this is both body and mind. Okay? And then after that, the next step, which was step number four, is, again, we can use our hands using de bono moves to remind our horse how movement can feel fluid and free.

So there's different things we do where we support, we guide, we do passive movements. You learn to follow the direction of ease, all kinds of cool stuff that I teach, and you're helping your horse feel like, oh, movement can feel easy, because again, just like us, they get into habits and habits of, oh, that's not going to feel good, or I'm stiff on that side. Not that they're thinking this intellectually, but it becomes just part of how they move.

And over time, it develops into a very strong habit. You can use your hands to help them change that, to create new neural connections so they're no longer stuck in those poor movement habits, those maladaptive movement habits. You could remind them that movement can feel easy, fluid and free. Okay, so that was step number four. So step number five now is what I call tension free tacking up.

So this is for those of you who ride your horses. So if you ride your horse and you tack your horse up. Many horses disliked being tacked up. They have a terrible association with it. Some of them, it's very obvious they'll pin their ears, they might threaten with a hind leg, they might turn around to threaten to bite you. And a lot of people either ignore it or they correct the horse.

I don't advise either of those things. But instead, there is a way, and I teach this in my move with your horse program. I teach all of this in my move with your horse program is there is a way to transform tacking up to be an enriching and bonding experience for both of you so that you actually incorporate the de Bono moves as you're tacking up and you're helping the horse move more freely and feel better in their body and mind as they're being tacked up.

And in the beginning, it's going to take a little bit longer to tack your horse up, but then it just becomes, you just do a little bit, just becomes part of how you tack up. So it's not like you're adding extra time all the time. In the beginning, you will need to lay a foundation and do things very intentionally. After that, it changes. And this is true for you whether maybe your horse doesn't display the typical girthy or cinchy behaviors, but they might contract their abdominal muscles.

So that means that, and this is very, very common, that horses, people call it blowing up. They think that they're using air to blow up their abdomen to make it bigger so that the girth becomes looser then, because then when they let it out, that's actually not what happens. It's that they're tensing their abdominal muscles to protect their rib cage, in a sense, from the discomfort of being tacked up.

So maybe your horse does that but doesn't display the other behaviors. It still means they're finding it uncomfortable and, or it's become such a habit, but that means that you're starting off your ride with a sense of resistance. So again, there are ways that you can help transform tacking up into something that's truly enjoyable and beneficial for you both. Okay. And it's very bonding. You feel very connected.

It's a wonderful experience. So that is number five and then number six. Step number six is enjoying moving with your horse. So again, whether you play with your horse just on the ground or, and, or you ride your horse, then you're able now to feel really good in how you move and how you interact with your horse. And your horse is feeling good in their body as well and their mind.

And then there's specific things you can do again on the ground or in the saddle where you can explore then these improvements in your movement and your well being. So it helps really to integrate it for you and your horse. And really, again, you get into that horse human harmony, that beautiful, joyful, blissful state that we all aspire to. Right? So it's something that, again, you know, these steps may sound easy, but, you know, they each take a bit of time.

They. It's a journey to me, it's a lifelong journey that you can always improve, but you can make tremendous improvement, tremendous improvement, even in, like, say, my move with your horse foundations program. It's a ten week program, but we take a deep dive into all of these aspects of the six steps. So if that's something you're interested in, you might want to sign up for my no obligation waitlist.

You just go to marydebono.com joinhorse. So, yes, if you're interested at all and learning a bit more, go to that link, marydebono.com joinhorse. And I'm going to be offering freebies, bonuses, all kinds of fun stuff. And there's no obligations, so you got nothing to lose. So I hope you join up. And then what I want to say is I want to just briefly go over the steps again so you really get them in your head.

And also to say that, you know, I talk about horse human harmony, and I want to really be clear here that when you're with your horse at any level of interaction, whether you're just hanging out with your horse, you're grooming your horse, you're riding, playing on the ground, you become a horse human system. It's no longer just you and then just your horse over here, you become a horse human system, which means that you're each influencing the other.

The way you move, the way you breathe, the way you think is felt by your horse, right. And that all shapes your, your interactions with your horse. So we want to have that real underlying sense of ease so we can create this harmonious state with our horse. So again, it's a horse human system, or I like to say h squared, you know, h squared horse human. And keep that in mind.

So let's go back to the six steps and why each one is so important. Number one is really improving yourself, right? Improving your movement, improving your awareness through the Feldenkrais method. This is going to help you be able to have that sense of ease when you're with your horse. That sense of easy, pleasurable movement, that sense of biological optimism, more confidence, all kinds of good stuff. Number two is learning how to use your intentions, your breathing, and your loving energy to connect with your horse on a very deep level.

This is going to kind of like turbo charge your interactions with your horse. Like, in other words, with the de Bono moves that I teach. When you add in this connect with your horse part, when you lay that down as a foundation first, it really turbocharges. It's like there's a synergistic effect with it so that the work you do with your hands is expedited. Right. It just grows, it's enhanced in so many ways.

It just like, increases the efficacy of it, if you will. So that's a really fun thing. And that connection just feels so good. It's what we all want, right? That incredible heart centered connection. So I can show you how to get that. And then number three is using the gentle hands on de Bono moves to relieve your horse's tension in body and mind. And then the next step, the fourth step is, again, using de bono moves to remind your horse that movement can feel fluid, free, pleasurable, even.

Okay. Just so cool. And then number five is transforming, tacking up into something that feels really good for you and your horse. Can you imagine that instead of tacking up just being something your horse tolerates, it's actually something pleasurable for them and something that's actually going to help improve their movement. Right. And their well being. And it feels really connecting as you do it. So that's a real win win there.

And then number six is, whether you're on the ground or in the saddle, you'll learn how to explore these improvements in your movement so that you really are moving with your horse. So after all, that is the name of the program. Move with your horse. So thank you so much for joining me today. I would love to hear what youre a dealing with. Do you have particular issue that you want to improve?

Maybe it's with yourself. Maybe it's with your horse. Probably it's with both of you. Right? But let me know and maybe I'll do a podcast episode on it. And again, I want to just remind you over the next subsequent episodes, we'll be taking a deeper dive into each of the six steps. So again, thank you so much for joining me. I appreciate you subscribing, reviewing, and sharing this podcast and can't wait to talk to you again.

Bye for now. Bye.