EMHH Episode 45: Dissolve Your Anxiety in Minutes

I'm sharing a quick, sure-fire way to tame your anxiety.  It's a simple, powerful exercise that you can do almost anywhere.

And it'll not only reduce your stress and calm your nerves, it'll get you into a more creative, receptive state. That means you'll come up with creative solutions to problems.

In addition to feeling happier and more confident,  the exercise will help you  see challenges in a new way.  You'll be able to stop your "worry habit" in its tracks and 
 maximize your joy and resourcefulness instead. 

Whether you often feel stress or anxiety about your horse, your career, your family, colleagues or anything else, this easy exercise can help you discover a happier, more helpful path forward.   

Your horse definitely wants you to listen to this podcast! 😊❤️🐴

 💥Want to get expert coaching on putting this into practice?💥

Go to https://www.marydebono.com/joinhorse to join the waitlist for our online group coaching program, Move with Your Horse.

Be among the first to know when we open our doors again. And qualify for valuable bonuses!

FREE resources:
Easily improve your movement and position in our FREE rider masterclass.
Feldenkrais® for Riders videos: https://www.marydebono.com/rider 

TRANSCRIPT:

Hello, would you like to learn something that is going to help you kind of dissolve your anxiety? You know, those moments where you feel stressed, you're tense, you're just feeling not really confident? Well, I have a very simple little exercise you can do virtually anywhere. I would just say don't do it while you're operating heavy machinery, like driving a car or a tractor or something like that.

But other than that, you can do it almost anywhere and it's super, super effective. Okay, so let me start by saying that first thing to do is to think of some, just notice your thoughts. Notice your thoughts. How are you feeling right at this moment? Is there something that's kind of nagging you, something that's bugging you? Maybe you're frustrated or annoyed with someone.

Maybe that's someone is your horse or someone you work with or someone you're related to, or a friend or you know, an acquaintance at the barn, whoever it is or whatever it is. Just notice, notice whatever that issue is, and notice how that issue makes you feel. So when you think about it, you know, how does your body feel?

So just think about that and see this is the, so with this little exercise, I'm going to help you expand your, your attention, your awareness, okay? And I'll tell you why that's so important. We tend to be really like narrow-minded, if you will, like single focused. Like if something is bothering us, we keep thinking about it,

right? We run that loop in our heads. And you have to remember, you have anywhere from 60 to 80,000 or so thoughts a day. And so many of those are unconscious and they're just like running on a loop. You don't even realize your, your, your brain is coming up with these things and they're negatively impacting you, cuz most of them are negative.

I've heard it quoted something like 95% of them are, are negative. So you're not just thinking about, you know, unicorns and rainbows when you are thinking these unconscious thoughts, but they're often really negative. And so they're harmful to your health, to your overall wellbeing and to those around you, including your horse. Cuz remember the way you move, the way you breathe and,

and even the way you think, the way you direct your attention, those are all experienced by your horse and they influence your, your experience with your horse. They shape your interactions with your horse. Okay? So your horse is picking up all this information from you, your spewing out, if you will, a lot of information to your horse that you're not even aware of.

So we're gonna help you get a handle on that and help you very specifically With any kind of anxiety, kind of stress, some, something that's negative that you wanna, you want to change. Okay? So first thing is to just, if you sit or stand somewhere comfortable, okay? So I would say do this without your, without holding your horse,

you know, on a lead rope or something like that. Especially at the beginning. You just wanna focus on yourself for a moment. This only will take a few minutes, very short minutes. So just put your attention on something in front of you. Just something you can look at easily. So if you're, if you're doing this at home or in an office,

just maybe the wall across from you. Just put your attention there and think about looking upward a little bit. Almost like you're looking through your, the spacing between your eyebrows. So it shouldn't be anything that feels like a strain or an effort, but it's like your eyes. Just look up a little bit, just a little bit. And you're gonna focus on just a single spot.

It could be just an imaginary spot, right? Something right in the middle, it's like up a little bit. So you're like looking up a little bit. Okay? So something just a little bit above eye level is what you're going to look, look at, okay? And just focus on that. Focus on that single spot. Whatever it is,

just focus on it. And as you focus on it, just release any physical or emotional tension. Just let it go. Let it go. Okay? So you want to allow both your body and your mind to feel loose and relaxed. And it can also be very helpful to just very gradually expand your exhalations, make your exhalations a little bit longer.

It's nothing forceful. Just when you exhale, you just let that get a little bit longer so you're breathing in this relaxed, comfortable way with a slightly longer exhalation. So keep focusing on that one central spot we talked about, okay? But now start to bring more of your attention to your peripheral vision. Okay? So it's like you slowly expand your visual field outward and you'll find that you're no longer focusing on any one thing,

but you start to get this much more expansive field of view. And if you want, sometimes it's helpful to put your, hand Your fingers up by the sides of your head, like outward a little bit, I dunno, maybe like a footer or so away from your head on each side. And just notice, can you see your fingers? You might wanna move them a little bit.

And you have this very soft focus. It's like you're softening your eyes. So notice how you can, you can just have this expanded field of view, and then can you maintain that? So maybe now you wanna get up, if you were sitting, if you were standing already, just go ahead and start walking a little bit. Know, stay safe.

We don't want you walking off a cliff or into a fence post. But see if you can walk around with this more expanded field of you and with this regular relaxed breathing with a slightly longer exhalation. And then maybe you wanna think about that issue that was bugging you before, maybe that thing that you were a bit stressed about, that you had some anxiety about,

or some frustration. And notice if it holds the same negative charge as it did, I'm gonna guess that it doesn't. It doesn't. And you know, it's really interesting when you do this exercise, which you saw, it only took a few minutes, it can totally change your state. And it doesn't mean that this is, you know, a one and done.

You might find yourself doing this repeatedly where it's easy for you to do, but the more you do it, you find that you'll just automatically start getting more into that state. And this could be really, really powerful because you literally see more and sense more, and you start to change from being so single focused on a problem, something negative. Maybe it's something negative about yourself.

We're always, you know, beating ourselves up all the time, right? And maybe you'll start to feel the wonder that is you, right? And to, to notice your magnificence because you are magnificent and you start to to sense more of that inside yourself. So you just start to, to notice these wonderful things around yourself and within yourself. Maybe you start to notice your horse differently too,

because again, we tend to be focused on what's wrong. That's kind of how our brains are wired to find, you know what the problem is, right? We have to fix the problem. And we do that very often at the expense of our enjoyment of life. We tend to be focused on what's wrong instead of what is so Wonderful about our lives and about those around us.

And so maybe after you do this little exercise, you start to see your horse differently. Literally see your horse differently instead of zeroing in on, oh my gosh, he's still not picking up that right lead canor immediately, right? You start noticing all the wonderful things about your horse, right? How your horse smells, right? How your horse feels,

you know, all the, the little nicker he gives when, when he sees you, right? Or the funny little things she does when you start scratching her withers. So think about all these wonderful things. Think about what brought you to wanting to share your life with horses. You know, sometimes we forget about that. So again, this, this could relate to horses or it doesn't have to relate to horses.

We get anxious about a lot of things stressed out about a lot of things in our lives. Maybe it's a personal relationship, a work relationship or careers, whatever it is. But again, we tend to get that single focus and we start to really ruminate. And our brain starts then to think, oh, okay, this is what we're doing. We're finding evidence that this is a problem.

So you keep finding more evidence of it. Instead, if you do this little meditation, which is actually called the Hakalau meditation, it, that's from a, an ancient Hawaiian tradition, supposedly there, there's some controversy about where it came from exactly, and it's been modified a little bit, but it's, it's a wonderful way of changing your state and helping you see more of the totality that is your life and the totality that is maybe that person that you're,

that you're worried about or upset with, or more of your horse that maybe you are worried about again, or upset with, whatever the case may be. Whether it's a situation or an individual, you start to see that there's a lot more behind them than what you've been focusing on. And we can really get more compassionate with, with each other that way.

So maybe it's somebody at the barn that you have a bit of a problem with. Maybe you don't like the way she does things with you, with her horse, and you kind of focus on that every time you go to the barn. Maybe she annoys you, right? If you can do this<unk> meditation, you might discover that suddenly there's something wonderful you d you realize about this person and doesn't mean that,

that you condone if, if there's something not good that she's doing with her horse. But you start to see some other parts of that individual and you get into that state of what I like to call compassionate curiosity. That's this sense of, you're curious, right? You're, you're curious about the situation, whether it's an individual or, or something else.

But you ha don't have judgment about about it either. So it's, you're compassionate, you're curious and compassionate at the same time. It's a really wonderful state to be in. So this can help you get there. It's like you get, this is a great, this Hakalau meditation, this expanded awareness, if you will, really helps you be in a better state to receive information.

So again, you're not just filtering it in a way that's habitual, but you are allowing more of the true essence of your life to present itself to you. And it's a really beautiful state to be in. Many people tell me that they find a real bliss from it. And I find that too. It, there is something, you know, blissful about it.

Very pure, very clear. So again, it's simple, but it's profound. And I did not come up with it. I just wanna just say that again. It's often attributed to the, to the Hawaiian tradition. The ancient Hawaiian traditions, and it's called the Hakalau meditation. So I will put, well, anyway, you'll have this podcast episode to refer back to and you know,

you can always get the transcript and things like that. But again, I would encourage you to do it, to play with this and, and share this with people that are not horse people. Because everyone can benefit from this idea that we can change our state. We can start to become more aware of how we're fe feeling physically and emotionally, and that we can take steps,

even very simple, but very powerful ones like this, to change that, to be more compassionate, more curious, and to not only enrich others by being in that state, but to enrich our own lives. Thank you so, so much for listening to this episode of Easier Movement, happier Horses. Remember, it's the podcast that your horse wants you to listen to because your horse will love you to be in this state,

this open and receptive state, and really finding the joy within yourself and with each other. So thank you so much. I can't wait to talk to you again. Bye for now.