Setback or Reset? How to Reframe Challenges for You, Your Horses & Dogs #108

Mary Debono shares how viewing challenges as resets rather than setbacks can revolutionize your relationship with your animals - and yourself. Through real-life examples – including a 75-year-old woman's journey back to wellness and heartwarming stories of adapting to pets' changing needs – you'll discover practical ways to move forward with hope and purpose.

Mary explores how the Feldenkrais MethodⓇ and Debono Moves create positive changes for both humans and animals, highlighting the vital connection between movement, mindset, and the human-animal bond. The episode offers clear steps for recognizing thought patterns, understanding physical sensations, and envisioning positive outcomes.

Whether you're facing training challenges, adapting to an aging pet's needs, or recovering from an injury, this episode provides gentle yet effective strategies for creating better outcomes. Mary's approach combines physical awareness with emotional intelligence, paving the way for easier movement and deeper connections with our animal companions.

Resources:
Want to sit in a more balanced, secure way? Click here for all the details on our new series.
Effortless, Balanced Sitting: A FeldenkraisⓇ Movement Series  ⬅️⬅️⬅️

💥Learn how the Feldenkrais Method can help improve your seat, position, and balance on your horse! Free rider videos: https://www.marydebono.com/rider 💥

Grab your FREE video training to help your dog. 🐕 https://www.marydebono.com/lovedog 💥

Get Mary’s bestselling, award-winning book, “Grow Young with Your Dog,” for a super low price at: https://tinyurl.com/growyoungwithyourdog. Demonstration videos are included at no extra cost. ⬅️⬅️⬅️

All information is for general educational purposes ONLY and doesn't constitute medical or veterinary advice or professional training advice. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider if you, your horse, or your dog are unwell or injured.  Always use extreme caution when interacting with horses and dogs.

Email [email protected]

About the Host:

Mary Debono is a pioneer in animal and human wellness, blending her expertise as an international clinician, best-selling author, and certified Feldenkrais Method® practitioner. With over three decades of experience, Mary developed Debono Moves, a groundbreaking approach that enhances the performance, well-being, and partnership of animals and their humans.

Mary's innovative approach draws from the Feldenkrais Method®, tailored specifically for horse and dog enthusiasts.  Her methods have helped animals and humans:

• Improve athletic ability and performance
• Enhance confidence and reduce anxiety
• Reduce physical limitations and discomfort
• Deepen the human-animal bond

Mary's flagship equine-focused online program, "Move with Your Horse," offers equestrians a unique opportunity to experience the benefits of Feldenkrais® while also learning her signature hands-on work for horses. This transformative approach has helped riders and their equine partners achieve harmony, both in and out of the saddle.

As a speaker and educator, Mary has touched the lives of animal enthusiasts across the globe, empowering them to unlock their full potential through mindful movement and enhanced body awareness.

Visit https://www.marydebono.com to learn more about Mary's unique work.

TRANSCRIPT:

Hello, and welcome to Easier Movement Happier Life for you, your horses and dogs. I'm Mary Debono, and today's episode, we're going to talk about something that affects all of us at some point, and that's setbacks. So whether it's an injury, a training challenge, or just an unexpected change in plans, it's easy to feel stuck when things don't go as we hope they would. So instead of seeing it as a setback, what if you saw it as a reset?

An opportunity to grow, to learn, and to move forward in a new way. So in this episode, we'll explore how you can use reframing to shift your mindset, improve your movement, and strengthen your bond with your horse or dog. And I'll share practical tools, including the Feldenkrais method and Dipono moves for animals, to help you embrace change with ease. And now let's talk about reframing. Because I think reframing is a game changer in life.

Whether it's applied to working through injuries, training challenges, whatever it is, it can be so helpful. And it's not about pretending everything is fine when it's not. It's about choosing a perspective that empowers you. So this is important. It's not about stuffing down your feelings or your emotions. It's not that. Right. You can feel what you feel, you know, notice it, let it pass through you, and then choose perspective that empowers you.

Because, you know, when we shift about how we think about a situation, we change how we feel about it, and that in turn changes our actions and changes our results. So again, this applies whether you're recovering from an injury, struggling with a training issue with your dog or horse, or maybe you're worried about your aging dog's mobility. So let me show you or talk about some real world examples.

Friend of mine, she's a lifelong equestrian. She had a really serious accident. It was kind of like a freak accident, and it required surgery and months of recovery. She was literally bedridden and dependent on other people for a while, and she couldn't do the things she loved. And she felt pretty helpless. And it was really disappointing. It just was one of those freak things that happens. Then she made a really powerful decision.

She thought, what if I use this time as a reset, not just as a setback? Because, yes, at first her inclination was to bemoan the fact that she had to stay in bed. She was facing surgery, and then months of recovery and, you know, thinking about all the things she couldn't do. She thought, what if I switch that around, and I thought, this is an opportunity for me to start over, to have, like, a clean slate in her movement.

And that's what she did. So she started working with me with the Feldenkrais Method, and she already had a strong foundation of working with me with the Feldenkrais Method, but we boosted it, you know, due to this injury. She also had a wonderful surgeon, and she had a physical therapist. I think that whole team was really important. But the most important thing, in my opinion, was her mindset.

So she really got so curious about her movement. And, like, you know what? Like, in the beginning, there was. She was. She was limited in what she could do and how comfortable she was lying on the floor. You know, we started with her lying in bed and then a really, really padded surface on the floor, and we did all those things to keep her safe. But then she realized, like, this is, again, her attitude was one of curiosity and curiosity without any judgment.

It's like, well, what can I do comfortably? And, you know, how can I build on that? So she realized, too, it was like, this is her chance to build her foundation from the ground up, improving her balance, her coordination, her overall body awareness in ways that she hadn't gone as deeply before. And I might add that she's 75 years old. She's always been extremely active, and she always credits the Felton Christ Method with her ability to be so active and athletic.

And guess what? She recovered so well, much, much faster than the timeline she had been given. And she credits her Feldenkrais knowledge with that. Her, you know, everything she's learned from doing the Feldenkrais lessons. And what's really incredible is she's actually better now than she was before. She has better, you know, more enhanced body awareness, a more refined sense of balance, and even just a deeper appreciation for movement.

So, again, I just think, like, she is a role model for us, you know? So what she initially saw as a loss turned into an incredible opportunity for growth. So now let's talk about a dog I worked with. So I recently worked with someone's dog who was losing the ability to use the hind end. Well. So he was losing his hind end mobility? Yes, he had been to the vet.

I insist on that. They did all the veterinary things that could be done. The dog was older, had some degree of spinal arthritis, which is very common, and his hind legs were getting weaker. And his owner was really heartbroken because he feared, like, his dog would never enjoy those daily walks they did. I mean, his dog and him Love to go walking around the neighborhood saying hello to people.

And he was really heartbroken about this because he's like, what can, you know, my whole life is going to change. Obviously the dog's life is changing. But I really helped him. I coached him into reframing that and instead of focusing on what he was losing, but inspired him to think about what he could gain from this process of going through this journey with his beloved dog. And so, yes, I mean, aging is a reality, right?

I mean, we can do things. I mean, I have a book called Grow Young with youh Dog that's helped many, many dogs and humans feel more youthful, act more youthful, you know, move easier, all that good stuff. But sometimes there comes a point when we realize, like, okay, this is the reality, is that, you know, because of these conditions that things are going to change. And it's how you embrace that change that counts.

So, you know, do you push against it and, and have this attitude of this is horrible, this is terrible, and your dog is going to feel that, for example, and it's also, it's going to manifest in you in not such a healthy way. Instead, if you think I get to be on this journey with my animal companion, this is true, by the way, of course, horses, age and everything else, you know, and we all do, you know, how can you reframe it?

And in this gentleman's case with his dog, I taught him some, you know, gentle de Bono moves, right? Those are the hands on, the hands on work I do with animals and helped him rediscover, like the sense of ease and comfort in movement. So the dog's movement did improve. Now, was the dog ever going to go back to the way he was, you know, as a puppy or as a 2 year old?

Probably not, but they could, you know, they both experienced that improvement and they also both experienced a sense of, I'll speak for the gentleman, what I call biological optimism. That when we give an individual a horse, a dog, a human, a cat, whoever particular sensory feedback, like in particular movement experiences, that animal's nervous system will make sense of that and can improve the animal's comfort and ease of movement to whatever degree is possible.

But it's like the animal's nervous system, like this includes us human animals. We're looking for that sense of wholeness, of ease, of pleasure, of safety. And, you know, it's really remarkable how intelligent the nervous system is. Again, whoever it applies to you, your horse, your dog, and we can, we can use that to create, you know, to improve quality of life. So that's what I did. I, I taught him things he could do.

And also this kind of re. Established their connection because, you know, he had always been the gentleman. You know, he was very active with his dog. You know, they walked a lot, they played tug, they did all these kinds of things. It's like, okay, that's great. And we're gonna help you do that as much as you can and we're gonna find other ways to have that heartfelt connection with your dog.

So these different hands on ways where you could just see and feel how appreciative the dog was. And again, we do this with the horses as well. Right. So there was that, that lovely bond that was being strengthened. So despite not being able to, you know, hike up all the hills and, you know, go for runs, what they could do, they did really well and they did in a very connected way.

So what was really cool was I could see the shift in this guy. Like, he went from in like a little bit of frustration and disappointment to curiosity. And he found ways then to make the shorter walks they were doing more enriching. And he started teaching his dog things, you know, things they could do just lying down or, or again going for these short walks or different things.

He could teach him nose work, you know, scent things have, how he could use his scenting ability to find treats and things like that. So they, they found ways to make their life again meaningful, connected, and fun. Right. It doesn't have to end. So. And the shift in mindset didn't just help his dog, it definitely helped his dog. Okay. But it really transformed their relationship. It just made every moment more meaningful.

And, you know, there was another example. I have, I have many examples of this with people. I've taught this woman who I never even actually met in person or even over zoom, because I do a lot of my teaching over zoom. She bought my book grow young with your dog, and she had a 17 year old dog at the time who was dying of liver cancer. They had done all the veterinary things.

It was still under the care of a vet. She had surgery, she had different chemos and things, but the end was coming and the dog was finding it, you know, more of a struggle to breathe and things like that. She wasn't at the point yet where, where crossing the rainbow bridge was called for, but the dog's life was definitely changed. And so what the woman found was that something I teach, which is connected breathing, was an incredibly bonding experience for her.

And again, it changed the woman's attitude about what her Dog was going through, and she realized, I can help her. I can help her feel better in body and mind, you know, physically and emotionally. And at the same time, the woman was helping herself feel better, and she knew she could give something to her dog. And again, this, this, I teach this with horses as well. And it's a way to connect more deeply with your animal, whether they're young and healthy or undergoing an acute illness or towards the end of life.

And it's like you, you realize you have this ability to be on this journey with your animal friend, and it can be beautiful. It can be really special, sacred, blessed, beautiful for both of you, you know, especially when you feel like you have something to offer. And I'm going to tell you, you have something to offer your animal. If you love your animal, there are things you can do that can be quite profound, and it doesn't take a long time to learn them.

It's more about your intention and your attention. Okay, so, you know, and that's why I think it's so important to really notice your mindset, notice what you're thinking, notice what your thoughts are, and then choose something that's more empowering. And a really good way to change your mindset is, is to actually change how you move. So this is a big part of my work, right, is I. I help humans and their animals to move more freely and to enrich their lives by changing how they move.

Because it changes how you think as well how you express yourself. So, you know, your movements and your thoughts are so deeply connected. And so if you feel stuck or tense or just somehow limited or restricted in your body, it often reflects in your thinking. And when you move with more ease, more comfort, more grace, your mind becomes more flexible, too. Again, this then is related to your ability to choose a perspective that's more empowering.

And that's why I think the Feldenkrais method for humans and the Dibona moves for animals are so impactful and empowering because they help you do that by improving your movement. It's like you send a message to your nervous system that change is not only possible, but it's safe and enjoyable and it'll feel better. And it really helps you cope with things. It helps you be more resilient. And again, how we think and feel, our animals pick up on that.

So you're supporting both of you, like even just improving your own movement and your own, you know, and then it's reflected in your mindset will help your animals because they're going to feel that and they often mirror us or certainly they are affected by our, our thoughts and perspectives. So here's a couple of few simple steps. Number one, notice your thoughts. So when faced with a challenge, whether that's an injury to yourself or your animal, or a training challenge, ask how am I interpreting this?

Is there another way to see it? How would an outside observer see this? And you know, what's fun to do is a little strategy where if you're thinking about something, an issue, maybe it's a situation that happened with your horse or your dog or whatever, look at it from your point of view. Like consider it, like kind of review it from your point of view. Review it from your animal's point of view.

Like pretend you're your horse or your dog or whoever. Like, how would they discuss this? How would they describe the experience? And then think like maybe a hawk or someone or crow or whoever was observing. How would they describe it? How would like a totally unrelated observer, unbiased observer describe it? And it really can help you change your perspective when you think of those, you know, again, your perspective, your animal's perspective, and then someone else that is outside.

Right. How would they describe what happened? It's really interesting. If you do that mindfully, like with the intention of being, you know, open to these different perspectives, it really helps. It's really helpful. So another thing you can do is, so that's noticing your thoughts about something. Tune into your sensations. Instead of feeling stuck. If you're feeling stuck, like I don't know what to do or I'm feeling loss or frustration or whatever, just tune into your physical sensations.

How do you embody a sense of frustration? Like what feels tight, what feels uncomfortable, Name it and be curious about it. Not judgmental, not judgmental, just non judgy. You know, don't have a running commentary about it. It's, it's not about, you know, judging it, it's just what, what's happening physically when I feel this way. So whatever the way is, it's disappointment, frustration, whatever it is, hey, how does that make you feel?

You know, and, and notice things like feel how your feet or contacting the ground, I notice your breath. Observe how your body moves. Think of where you can let go of unnecessary tension. Like notice it's my jaw tense, are the muscles around my eyes tense, My hands tense, My shoulders may be up around my ears. And this really helps interrupt negative thought loops. Just bringing your attention back to your own body, your own sensations is really powerful.

It's simple and it's really Powerful. And then number three, imagine a different outcome. You know, we catastrophize all the time. I mean, I was the poster child for that before I really understood this, you know, and ask yourself, what if this all turned out fabulously, right? Because when we give the brain questions like that, it comes up with answers for us, right? It's like we're directing it to come up with answers.

So picture yourself moving forward from this situation in a really positive way. You know, if you're dealing with an injury, imagine the recovery, right? And imagine that the recovery is helping you become more balanced and more aware and more graceful, more coordinated, like my friend and client did. If it's your horse or dog that's struggling with something, just envision new ways to support and connect with them and.

And really kind of give them a mental blueprint for. For a wonderful possibility to occur, right? And then number four, this is one of my favorites. My favorite questions. It's. One of them is, how can this feel easier, whatever this is. So in other words, whether it's recovery from an injury, whether it's a training challenge, whatever situation you're dealing with, maybe it's just an activity you need to do, like a chore you need to take care of.

How can it feel easier? What can you do so that it's easy? And you'd be surprised at what you come up with when you ask those quite, you know, a question like that. So. So just to review a little. A little summary here is remember that setbacks aren't the end. They're actually a new beginning. If you think of it as this is your opportunity to. To make beautiful changes, to have a more meaningful relationship with your animal, or to have a fresh start in how you move and how you feel, right?

How you move through life, that setback can totally be a new, more exciting, more optimistic beginning. So next time you face any kind of challenge again, whether it's a physical injury or a training challenge or something like that, ask yourself, is this a setback or is it a reset? Because you have the power to choose now. I'd love to hear how this episode resonates with you. And let me know.

Have you ever used reframing to change how you thought of a situation about a situation? And let me know whatever issue you're dealing with, whatever challenge you'd like help with, you can always email me maryarydebono.com or. And I'd love to do a podcast episode for you, so. And if you found this at all helpful, please share it with a friend, you know, a fellow horse or dog lover, or just another human being that could.

That could benefit from a little change of mindset. So, until next time, remember, you and your animals deserve to move easier and feel happier together. Thank you so much for being here. I can't wait to talk to you again. Bye for now.