Your Personal Keystone: Unlock the Power of Lasting Change #104

Discover how selecting a keystone practice like Feldenkrais can create positive chain reactions throughout your life. Learn how gentle movement sequences can improve your riding, sleep, emotional resilience, and creativity while building a foundation for lasting transformation.

Key Takeaways

• A keystone goal or practice creates positive chain reactions in multiple areas of life
• A consistent Feldenkrais practice makes an effective keystone practice 
• Physical benefits include improved flexibility, coordination, and posture
• Mental benefits include enhanced focus, concentration, decision-making abilities, and emotional resilience
• Physical changes can lead to broader life transformations
• Mary's upcoming Feldenkrais series will focus on balanced sitting which can improve how you ride 

Resources:

💥Learn how the Feldenkrais Method can help improve your seat, position, and balance on your horse! Free rider videos masterclass: https://www.marydebono.com/rider 💥

Join our waitlist! https://www.marydebono.com/joinhorse 🐴

Email [email protected]

All information is for general educational purposes ONLY and doesn't constitute medical, veterinary, or professional training advice. Always use extreme caution when interacting with horses. 

About the Host:

Mary Debono is a pioneer in animal and human wellness, blending her expertise as an international clinician, best-selling author, and certified Feldenkrais Method® practitioner. With over three decades of experience, Mary developed Debono Moves, a groundbreaking approach that enhances the performance, well-being, and partnership of horses and their human companions.

Recognizing the profound connection between equine and human movement, Mary's innovative approach draws from the Feldenkrais Method®, tailored specifically for the equestrian world. Her methods have helped horses and humans:

• Improve athletic ability and performance
• Enhance confidence and reduce anxiety
• Reduce physical limitations and discomfort
• Deepen the horse-human bond

Mary's flagship online program, "Move with Your Horse," offers equestrians a unique opportunity to experience the benefits of Feldenkrais® while also learning her signature hands-on work for horses. This transformative approach has helped riders and their equine partners achieve harmony, both in and out of the saddle.

As a speaker and educator, Mary has touched the lives of equestrians across the globe, empowering them to unlock their full potential through mindful movement and enhanced body awareness.

Discover the power of Debono Moves and transform your equestrian journey. Visit https://www.marydebono.com/you-and-your-horse to learn more about Mary's unique work.

TRANSCRIPT:

Today we're exploring a powerful concept that can really change, or I'm going to say transform how you approach your personal goals. And it's this idea of selecting a keystone, or some people call it a domino goal, right? And I'll tell you why this is so important. Imagine a line of dominoes, right? You know, those little. Those little domino pieces, right? And you line them up and you tip that first domino and it has this chain reaction of tipping all the dominoes.

You've probably seen the videos where people do these elaborate domino setups, and it's really kind of cool, right? So that's what we want to think about. We want to think about how to select a goal or a practice, something you do on a regular basis that can be like your keystone or domino goal for you, okay? So it's like it creates this chain reaction that makes all the other things that you want to do in your life a lot easier.

That's the idea, right? We want to set you up so that you have a foundation, right? That's why the word keystone, right? A foundation. You think of a keystone on a. On a bridge, right? The middle of the arch there, that kind of creates that structure, that strength, right? When you have that, it's going to help you do all the other things a lot easier. So for me, I'll tell you what my personal one is.

My personal one is practicing Feldenkrais Awareness through Movement lessons. They're often called ATM lessons. For awareness through movement has nothing to do with the bank machine, by the way. And. And what that does is that sets me up, that helps me physically, mentally and emotionally to be able to do the other things that I want to do. And if you're not familiar with the Feldenkrais method, with the Awareness through Movement lessons in particular, they're really gentle movement sequences that are very specific.

And they're doable by anyone, really, in any level of condition, any age. Maybe you're coming back from an injury or a surgery surgery, or you're a top performing athlete. They can be helpful because you can modify what you do based on your unique situation, and they help you become more aware of how you move and how you function. But there's so much more than just physical exercises. So this is what I notice.

So when I do my Feldenkrais practice regularly, these are the ripple effects that I see. I notice that my physical self is a lot happier, okay? I have better awareness and better coordination. My posture is just easier. You know what you can call self carriage, right? So it makes everything I do easier. You know, anything I'm doing around the house, if I'm working with the horses, if I'm walking my dog, if I'm, you know, working in the yard and I'm lifting heavy things.

Right. I'm better able to do all those things. Right. I can run better. I can do all the things much more easily. So those are some things you may notice from doing Feldenkrais. Okay. Right. And then the other thing, too is I notice I sleep so much better after doing Feldenkrais. So my sleep is, you know, deeper, and I feel more rested when I wake up. And I had a student tell me, she said how much she loves doing Feldenkrais actually right before bed, because she said then, you know, she goes to bed feeling really good, and she found that she woke up feeling really good as well.

So, in other words, it wasn't even just the act of sleeping, but it was doing the Feldenkrais awareness through movement lessons that helped her set herself up for feeling really good. And she said before that she would always wake up really stiff and sore. I'm going to say she was maybe late 40s, early 50s at the time. She told me this. And she's a horse person. She runs a big horse farm.

She rides a lot of horses. She does a lot of things, you know, super active in that way that we are. And so she was really struggling with lots of tension and aches and pains in her body. And once she started doing the Feldenkrais lesson, she said, complete game changer. And she said it just set the tone for the day when she would wake up feeling so good.

Now, with that said, you don't have to do them right before bed. You could do them in the morning and still get the benefits for the next day as well. Okay. So just. Just to be clear on that. So, yeah, so there's definitely the. The physical benefits that people notice. Okay. And that I certainly noticed. And then there's also the mental clarity, you know, when you're doing Feldenkrais.

Excuse me. When you're doing Feldenkrais lessons, it requires you to really pay attention to yourself and to have curiosity about how you move. So it's not about following instructions, doing something the way other people do it, but it's about really connecting to what works for you. This is huge because think of how this can carry over into other aspects of your life. Okay. So you become more aware of subtle sensations.

You develop feel. And we know how important that is. Right. Developing Feel is so important. So you just become more present, you're more aware in your everyday life. You might be able to get more into deep work. Like you, you find that you can concentrate better. You're not constantly switching your brain from task to TAs. You're not getting as distracted because you're in the Feldenkrais lessons. You're actually honing that skill to pay attention to something, to pay attention to yourself in that case, right?

So, and again, you, you notice more details. So this can help in so many areas of your life. I think you can, you can see that. And third, and this one surprises a lot of people, but it's emotional resilience is often developed. So I noticed this myself as well. So you, you recognize that you approach challenges more with curiosity than with fear or anxiety, and you just become more flexible in both body and mind, kind of roll with the punches more easily.

You can step back and see what your options are. You realize you have more options than you thought you did. Because when we, when we experience more in our physical self, our nervous system gets educated then, right? It learns and it's like, oh, I have more options generally. So you start to see things differently. I noticed this a lot when I started doing Feldenkrais, which was, you know, over 30 years ago, like, just.

I started changing so many things in my life, like fundamental things, and I didn't at the time directly attribute it to Feldenkrais because I didn't realize. But then in hindsight, I'm like, oh, I was open to those new avenues because my whole body had changed, like my whole nervous system. Because we're not the bind. Excuse me. The mind and body are not separate. Okay? It's all, we're all one thing.

Okay? So when you start to change your physical experience, your nervous system is picking out all this information up, and so you change how you think about things. Like, in my case, I realized here I was, I was an IT professional, you know, a computer systems person. And it was considered a really good job and was. It was stressful, for sure, but it was a really good job, paid well and all that stuff.

And it was in some ways prestigious. I was also on call all the time. I used to get woken up in the middle of the night constantly to fix computer problems and. But, you know, it's sort of like that was my, that's what I had trained to do. That's what I had been doing since I was 22. So, you know, it was just my path. Of course, I had my Horse.

And I had, you know, was always involved with animals. That was more like a hobby, if you will. And when I started doing Feldenkrais, I realized I could totally change my life. So isn't that interesting when I changed how I was moving and feeling and connecting to myself, I totally changed my life. I, I quit my job, I, my horse and I traveled 3,000 miles to, from the east coast to California so I can start a Feldenkrais training.

The four year program that I, that I went to and, you know, didn't know anybody in California just did it. And I think about that and it's like, wow, that took a little something right, to do that. And I think it was because my nervous system did realize that change can be really good because I had changed my physical movement so much that here was another wonderful opportunity I had.

I could, I had choices and how I was going to live my life. So, you know, I noticed in my Feldenkrais training, again, it was over four years, so you really get to know your fellow students and people would, you know, change relationships, things like that, because they started to question, like, they started to see, you know, is this really right for me, like, or again, you know, different career opportunities or they would take, you know, they would become just a little more adventurous in life, I guess is the way to put it.

So. And again, nothing, nothing crazy or anything, but just in a way that was intelligent and that's what it helps you do. It helps you live more intelligently, more with more awareness, basically. So, you know that that is something. The other thing it does too, and this goes hand in hand with the other aspects, is it helps you be more creative because again, you start to invite curiosity and creativity because that's what you're doing in the Feldenkrais work you're actually using.

You're harnessing curiosity and creativity to learn how to move more freely so that, that, you know, translates to all aspects of your life. You might find as an artist, you're more creative, right? As a, as a writer, you know, you're more creative. So whatever you do, maybe as a photographer, you know, you find maybe that you're, you're inspired in a different way. So it's pretty cool. So that's my keystone goal anyway is the Feldenkrais awareness through movement lessons.

But you may have a different one, you may have a different keystone goal. So you might think about, okay, what is something if I did it consistently and you don't have to get obsessive about it, right? It's not. You don't want to be compulsive. Like, I have to do it every day because that. That becomes then a maladaptive habit. But, you know, but to have a practice of doing something consistently that benefits you.

So think of something that creates, you know, multiple positive changes in your life. Okay, so it might be the Feldenkrais Method. I would, you know, that'd be awesome. But it might be something else, you know, it might be maintain a consistent sleep schedule. Now, again, I'm going to point you to the fact that the Feldenkrais method can help you sleep better. Could be practicing meditation, maybe there's a specific exercise routine, a workout.

You know, another. Another thing I like to do is to hike in the mornings with my dog. And we're out in nature, it's beautiful, and we do a vigorous hike. So, you know, it feels good in all those areas as well. It's very different than the Feldenkrais method, but my Feldenkrais method practice helps me hike more efficiently and more health, you know, in a healthier way. Okay. And I can run with my dog and do all those fun things as well as all the stuff, you know, we do with horses.

So think about something so something that you can. That you can, you know, practice consistently, and it makes you feel better doing it. Right. And that also creates those positive ripple effects in your life and that it feels sustainable and not overwhelming. Right. You want to have it so that it's something that you can practice consistently. So again, for me, the Feldenkrais method checks all those boxes. The lessons are gentle enough.

You can do them every day. And there's different, you know, different amounts of time. If you have only have certain amount of time to devote to it, you know, you can adapt the lesson to be shorter or longer or whatever. But again, it's something that in my life creates lasting, profound change, and it's helped so many of my students and people I know over the years as well.

So I always think about it. I'm not just improving my movement, but I'm developing skills that. To help me navigate all areas of my life with greater ease. So I'm starting actually a new Feldenkrais, like a. Like a series, a series of. Series of Feldenkrais lessons that'll be open to you. You'll be. If you're on my email list, you'll certainly get notice of it. And, you know, I'm.

I'm calling like, the overall A series, the big series, Easier movement, Happier life. Because that's what it helps you do. It helps you have a happier life when you can move in this way and have all these other mental and emotional benefits as well. And they'll. Then the series will be focused. Each series, like the first one, is balance sitting. So it'll help you sit, whether you're sitting at your desk, in your car, at your kitchen table, out on the patio, or riding your horse or whatever you're doing, you can sit with more ease in a healthier way.

Okay, because we do a lot of sitting in our life, right? I know we want to minimize it, but the fact is we sit a lot. So you want to sit in a healthier way. And you'll find that when you improve how you sit, it also improves how you walk and run and ride and do all the things. So that's the first series. There'll be other series as well, with your hips and your back and your shoulders.

And I have all kinds of fun stuff planned for you, so stay tuned. So, again, think about your keystone goal. This is something, you know, I'm recording this, you know, in towards the, well, actually mid December of 2024. But no matter when you're listening to it, this applies. But a lot of people make New Year's resolutions as they go into the new year. So you can think about, well, what would be one keystone that I can do?

1. You can call it a goal, you can call it a practice, and we say a goal. It's not that you're achieving a specific thing. It's more like a what people call a habit goal. I don't like to use the word habit because that seems so robotic. Right. But I think of it more as a practice. So what is the practice, the keystone practice that you can explore that can help make your life easier and happier.

So let me know. I'd love to hear from you. You can always email me [email protected] thank you so much for listening. I look forward to talking to you again soon. Bye for now.