How to Improve Your Horse’s Movement Through Connection, Not Control #115

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Want to improve your horse’s movement without force or rigid techniques? Discover how connection—not control—creates lasting change. In this episode, I’ll share why stretching and traditional fixes often backfire and how a more mindful approach leads to ease, trust, and true movement improvement.

Many riders try to fix their horse’s movement challenges—stiffness, bending issues, or unevenness—by stretching, using stronger aids, or forcing a certain posture. But what if the real key to improvement isn’t about control at all?

Learn how fostering connection instead of imposing control allows your horse to move with greater ease, comfort, and balance. You’ll learn why traditional fixes often fail, how the nervous system influences movement, and what you can do instead to help your horse find movement that feels good—without tension or force.

I’ll also share a personal story of overcoming severe carpal tunnel syndrome and how the principles I used to heal myself apply directly to helping horses move better.

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a new perspective on:
✔ Why traditional stretching and corrections often don’t work.
✔ How to support your horse’s movement through safety and awareness.
✔ The role of the horse-human system in creating lasting improvements.

If you want to enhance your horse’s movement while deepening your bond, this episode is for you!

Resources:

Want to improve movement efficiency, comfort, and connection for both you and your horse? 

Check out our Move with Your Horse Foundations group coaching program. 💥  🥳 This is a limited-time offer. 💥

💥Learn how the Feldenkrais Method can help improve your seat, position, and balance on your horse! Free rider videos masterclass: https://www.marydebono.com/rider 💥

Interested in improving movement efficiency, comfort, and connection for you and your dog? Get Mary’s bestselling, award-winning book, “Grow Young with Your Dog,” for a super low price at: https://tinyurl.com/growyoungwithyourdog. Demonstration videos are included at no extra cost.

Grab your FREE video training to help your dog. 🐕 https://www.marydebono.com/lovedog 💥

All information is for general educational purposes ONLY and does not constitute medical or veterinary advice or professional training advice. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider if you, your horse, or your dog are unwell or injured.  Always use extreme caution when interacting with horses and dogs.

TRANSCRIPT:

Hi, and welcome to Easier Movement, Happier Life. I'm Mary Debono. Today we're going to focus on horses and yourself. Now you, if you're a dog person, you can also really benefit from this episode. Okay, but I'll use examples that are based around horses. Okay, but the same thing applies really to any animal with a nervous system. Okay, so this, this podcast is about all animals. So today I'd like to talk about why real improvement, whether for you or your horse, comes from awareness rather than rigid techniques.

Okay, so let's let me give you an example. With a horse, so many people will tell me, oh, my horse doesn't bend easily to one side or the other, or maybe a stiff all over or whatever the situation is. But let's just use an example of a horse that has more difficulty bending to the right. Okay, so what do people do? People do a number of different things.

They might do some things on the ground where they're stretching different parts of the horse. They might do that from the saddle where they're getting the horse to quote, unquote, stretch in different ways. They might use stronger aids, maybe add more spur whip or something like that to, again, I'm going to say, quote, unquote, get the horse to bend differently or more right, Think about what that does, any of those things, what that can do to your horse's sense of self, sense of well being and connection with you, and feelings of trust between you two.

So, you know, movement is not this just mechanical thing that we or horses do, right? It, it, it's embodied differently by all of us. So the reason that one horse doesn't bend as easily to the right may be quite different than the reason this other horse doesn't bend easily to the right. So by following just this strict kind of formula like step by step, do this, do this, get the head to go this way, get the spine to do this, get the hindquarters to do this.

That can really backfire. And what that can do is that can create a sense of you're imposing a certain way of moving onto that horse. You're trying to make the horse move in a particular way in a way that may be very damaging to that horse and doesn't instill a sense of safety. So maybe even if biomechanically, let's just say, oh, that would be more correct to bend that way.

But if the horse's nervous system feels that, that is contraindicated, that that isn't congruent, that's going to create a lot of anxiety. In that horse, that's going to damage any trust you've had with that horse because you're trying to get the horse to do something that is not in that horse's best interest. Okay? So this is a big problem that I see in the horse world now. There's many problems in the horse world, we know that.

And a per, many, many people doing this, many riders doing this are very well intentioned, but they've seen videos or, you know, learned how to do certain things or their trainer told them to do these things. But we have to think, we have to take a step back and think, is that appropriate for that horse? So, and think again about you're doing that and you're trying to get the horse to do that.

You're not giving the horse's say in the matter, right? It's not a co creative process, it's an imposition. You're imposing your demands on the horse. So let's talk about now I'll use an example from my own life so many, many years ago before I got into the Feldenkrais method, which is a method that I teach, right? It's a primary method for t for helping humans improve their movement and well being.

And then I created De Bono moves for animals. But before all that, I had really severe carpal tunnel syndrome. I had it in both arms and it was very severe. And I tried all kinds of different modalities to improve myself. But the professionals I was working with were looking at me like a machine, like just a bunch of parts, right? They weren't taking into account that the way I created my difficulty, my carpal tunnel syndrome, was different than the way the next person created it and the person after that.

So for me, merely like addressing my wrists, right? Which is where the carpal tunnel is, right? Did not help. In fact, it got worse and worse and worse. So instead, when I very fortunately found the Feldenkrais method that helps you recognize that you're an entire being and that your entire self is involved in whatever problem you're dealing with. Whether it's the carpal tunnel syndrome in my case, whether it's, you know, a sore tight hip or a knee issue or a foot issue or neck issue, whatever it is, it's your whole self is involved in it.

So for example, for me, the way I, you know, the way I, I sat played a huge role. The way I shifted my weight when I was walking played a huge role. You know, it wasn't just like, oh, you can focus on the neck or the back or the shoulders or something like that? No, no, no. It's a whole body approach. It's much more holistic in that regard.

And then what. What happens is through these easy, gentle movements, we're creating a sense of safety in the nervous system. And then my body, myself, right, Recognize, oh, this feels better. So now I learned, you know, to move in these different ways, to shift my weight differently, to hold myself differently. Like, all these things changed and my carpal tunnel syndrome went away. Okay. And these are the things that I teach people.

And I've. I've helped people not only with carpal tunnel syndrome, although I have helped many people with that, but all kinds of things. But it's based on this idea that you're a unique, sentient being who embodies your issues differently than your neighbor does. And we approach the horse work with the same idea. We're not trying to quote, unquote, fix horses, right? We don't, you know, try to diagnose and treat them.

However, what we do do is, for example, this is what I teach, and this is what I teach in my move with your horse programs is I teach you how to use your hands to communicate with your horse in such a way that you create that sense of safety. And then you explore movements together in. In this container of safety, ease and pleasure and trust. So you really deepen your connection and really refine your communication because you learn to listen to those really subtle responses in your horse, not only just like the bigger things of how their ears are, their wrinkles around the eyes or nose or things like that, but like subtle changes in how the horse uses their ribs or changes in the musculature or different things like that, right?

And so you get this really refined communication. And again, you're building trust. And the work that you do with the horses, the hands on de Bono moves, really helps improve your awareness and movement as well. So it's. It's a win, win. So you do both, both the Feldenkrais for yourself to improve your body and mind as well as the work with the horses is. Improves you both. So this is really important to think about.

This idea that when we're thinking about an issue that we want to improve, whether it's for ourselves or horses or both, is that we think about it in a more holistic way, in a way that engages the entire self, the body and the mind, because it's your entire self that created it. It's the entire horse that created their issue. And I'm even going to go so far as to say that I call it a horse human system.

Because anytime you're interacting with your horse, and again this, this also applies to dogs, but anytime you're interacting with your horse, right, you're creating what I call a horse human system or H squared, right? So when you think about it, the way you move, the way you breathe, the way you direct your attention, all those things are felt by your horse and they all, they all determine how your horse interacts with you.

Like, think about it, your underlying sense of either ease or effort plays a huge role in how your horse, you know, feels about you, like what information they pick up about you. So in other words, if you have a lot of unnecessary tension, which many of us do, both physical and mental tension, because they go hand in hand, your horse will feel that. And instead we want to figure out, well, how can I let go of my unnecessary tension so I feel better that I feel more flexible, coordinated, balanced, freer, have more vitality, more energy, and I can transmit that sense of ease to my horse as well.

And that's how you create this deeper connection, this partnership. And you're then in a better place to help your horse improve their movement and how they feel and how they, they, they interact with their world as well. So if you're at all interested in this, this is the time to act. Because my move with your horse foundations program, which is a 10 week program, we go into depth in all of this.

You get all kinds of fantastic Feldenkrais lessons that are particularly good for equestrians. They help with any number of things. They just your overall flexibility, vitality, balance, coordination, all that stuff. As well as you learn how to help your horse with your hands, you learn the Equine Debono Moves, the foundations of Equine Debono Moves, so you can help your horse feel as good as you do. Right? Because after all, you and your horse deserve to feel great together.

So if you're interested and you're listening to this podcast in real time, we are only open for a few more days. I do have a special discount code so there will be a link in, in the description. Wherever you're listening or watching this, look for that link and you can get all the details there. But again, don't delay because I want you to join us and I keep the group small.

There's a lot of online class, you know, live classes as well as pre recorded get lifetime access. Oh, there's all kinds of good stuff I have for you. I take care of you, trust me. So anyway, hope you check that out. And yeah, think about, think about this. Let's just, just to wrap up the episode, think about this idea when you're thinking about trying to, quote, unquote, fix an issue with yourself or your horse or both.

Right. Because it's related. Instead, how can I enhance awareness and understanding rather than trying to fix something? And you'll see that it opens up the door for all kinds of wonderful transformations for you and your horses. Okay, let me know if you have any comments about this, any feedback, any questions, anything you're dealing with could always reach [email protected] and I thank you so much for listening, subscribing, and reviewing the podcast.

So appreciate you so much, and I look forward to talking to you again soon. Bye for now.